you're a mystery yourself

Saturday, November 13, 2010

4:18 PM

endless tears.

Labels: emo

&study hard ,study smart<3.

4:03 PM

this picture up here.

shows my feeling right now.

i dont know.

i drop down again.

im sorry baby.

i really am.

maybe its all my fault.

i hate myself dear.

im sorry to my babes.

nana, im sorry.

i slashed myself.

its too hurtful.

but looking at the blood.

and pain.

the hurt from my heart stops .

but the place where blood didnt.

so my heart didnt ache so much.

i dont know what im doing but ..

bby , i knw u would be angry w me

when you know this.

i am sorry.

im sorry dear.

Labels: emo

&study hard ,study smart<3.

12:34 PM

ps. i wanna kill my feelings.

esp. my anger,sadness,jealousy..

i wanna kill them all.

u know what bby.

i can still see you care for her.

your love towards her.

im sorry but its the fact.

& yah.. the girl.

telling you bout your eyes.

whats this?

ntg going on but she commented like that on you.

she didnt even accept me.

guilty?

i dun know.

im confused & down.

im sorry.

im useless. again.

Labels: emo

&study hard ,study smart<3.

6:54 PM

give up with life.

give up with future.

its useless.

fuck life.

fuck future.

i give up.

breaking down.

im weak i admit.

sorry mum & dad.

Labels: emo

&study hard ,study smart<3.

11:02 AM

“ I’m not always as confident as I seem.

There are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held.

I love being held. Always.

Sometimes I don’t want to talk about what is bothering me.

Sometimes I just want a hug.

Someone who will let me cry.

I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am not naive.

I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I am all too familiar with what it means to be hurt.

I know what it’s like to see something funny and not laugh.

I’ve been taken advantage of, used, and abused.

My feelings have been blatantly disregarded.

But I still believe that all people are good at heart.

And my trust in people has not diminished.

To be completely honest, I hope it never does. Ever. ”

Labels: emo

&study hard ,study smart<3.

11:31 AM

I was nervous the first time you REALLY hugged me, but we did.

I was scared the first time you actually kissed me, but I let it happen.

I was terrified the first time you said you loved me, but I said it back.

I was overwhelmed the first time you said forever, but I agreed.

Yeah, I remember all those little things, but apparently you forgot.

Labels: emo

&study hard ,study smart<3.

3:34 PM

She’s the girl that believes that what comes around goes around.

The one that hopes for a better day.

The one that won’t give up on you.

She’s the girl that’s unlike the rest.

The one that spent her days smiling, and her nights crying.

She’s the girl that would love to be loved.

The one that looks so damm strong, but feels so weak.

She’s the girl that picks herself up every time she falls.

Labels: emo

&study hard ,study smart<3.

2:16 PM

currently reading this:

She said that she wanted to get high. He took her to the tallest hill in town. She said that she wanted to stay up all night and drink. He gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated Pepsi and said “drink up.” She said that she wanted to shoot herself in the face. He gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger, aimed it at her face, and helped her pull the trigger. She said that she wanted to cut herself. He took a Polaroid of her, handed it to her along with scissors, and had her cut it up. She said that she wanted to see her blood. He took her to get her ears pierced. She said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep. He had her watch a sad, romantic movie before bed. She said that she wanted to be alone. He gave her a name tag that said “My name is: Alone.” She said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always. He asked when he wasn’t.

Labels: emo

&study hard ,study smart<3.

3:56 PM

sometimes.

i dont even understand myself.

a minute im laughing and another im not.

& sometimes i feel heartache.

why? whats happening.

& it hurts seeing you like that.

currently reading this:

“If I ignore you, don’t ignore me back. Try and get my attention. If I brush away your hand as you try to hold it, grab it and let me know you really care. Don’t just give up. If I seem like I’m doubting you and us, reassure me that this is just one out of a million obstacles we’re going to go through in this relationship, don’t act all depressed and beat yourself up about it. If you get the feeling that I want to leave you, don’t just sit back and watch me. Don’t say “you can leave me if you want to”. Fight for me. Tell me how much you want me to stay. I’m just a girl. And I need to feel needed sometimes.”

really. kinda this is how i felt.

but just you dont realise.

how much you was needed.

looking at you ,you look like you dont care.

& my hearts break in silence.

Labels: emo

&study hard ,study smart<3.

7:01 PM

currently at my cousin house at tamp((:
since at home got my lil sista & bbybro i came here to study(:
yah heard that..study((:
hmm.. i dont know why.
today im just making myself happy.
when deeply im not.
its like im emo-ing larhhs!
so down man..hardly smile right now.
hope will be cheerful back when meeting my mummy at expo later.
really hope so.. why must all those past memories came in my mind again?
its making me crazyyy!

Labels: emo

&study hard ,study smart<3.